Madonna Rebel Heart Tour December 2015
UK Tour Report
London, Manchester,Birmingham and Glasgow
I arrive in 'Greenwich' South East London later than predicted Hot and Bothered as my cab driver couldn't find where my hotel was such a nightmare!!
I have 2 hours to get ready for tonight's show 'Madonna's second night residency in 'O2 Arena', I unpack my outfit I'm going 'Matador' with a Bolero Jacket and specially made Bolero style pedal pushers (trousers cut to the knee) and a basque that is in competition with me to come off than stay on Grr!!!
I arrive to find my seat in Block A3 alongside the Cross section of her specially designed catwalk, OH WOW!! it feels surreal like a dream I had no idea where about I'd be seated I was right there, Warming up for us was Ministry of Sound resident DJ Mary Mac, she plays a heady mix of nightclub style Dance Beats, and wears a luminous dayglo jacket and sparkly earphones "Whats Up London !! Are You Ready To See The Queen!!??London !!!" The atmosphere is #Buzzin' Tonights show is Sold Out The Venue Is Huge !!
After An Hour 8.45pm the lights go out again, screams of excitement go up , Madonna has the power to make you feel Great Trepidation and Great Excitement...
Part 1-Act 1
The screen situated centre stage moves ,in fact tilts toward us and a film of 'M as Marilyn she wears that tight 'iconic' glittery dress from the 90's she speaks over the film making fun of her celebrity status "Come Shake your Ass Baby..." with an appearance of 'Mike Tyson' who speaks, its the 2 comparisions of celebrity that are the same 'The Battle Begins!!!' "Are You With ME" she says ...Yes ! yell back the crowd the masses are here to see her .
Up In the air in front of us a gated vessel in the form of a drawbridge descends in lift like motion and in front of us 'Iconic' begins, her male dancers are all dressed as 'Gengis Khan's Army March down to each corner of the catwalk three alongside me right next to me all with medival helmets, historical outfits,and large Gold staffs with Crosses on them holding them out in dramatic fashion, cage is open with M' in a Red Robe like 'Japanese' style warrior but with with a twist on 'Game of Thrones',she walks towards her carefully choregraphed dancers grabs a staff from one and she jousts down the runway to be picked up and tipped upside down over the staffs wow its dramatic !! crowd go crazy ,her hair looks fabulous long Blonde with subtle kinks to it a la 'Ray Of Light' era.
Then its the turn of her female danceers waiting main stage 'M' takes off the Red Robe a la quick change revealing a Black Coat and Red Geisha style look with 'Bitch I'm Madonna' and M' dancing using large Japanese Red folding fans and darting around the main stage, she sashays about this was single no3 from 'Rebel Heart' it was never released commercially in the UK.
Then She goes all out rock for 'Burning Up' with a flying V guitar, she works her way forward after taking off another robe set, to reveal Black delicate sheer style skirt and Black matching long sleeved sheer outfit with White Crocheted style Ruffle she looks like a resistant nun, she plays with conviction and prowess as the crowd go wild for her!!! and she hasn't even got to me yet oh boy , oh gosh I'm nervous in the presence of royalty !!
Speaking of Nuns she marches up the catwalk with her female dancers dressed as nuns in pointy bras and habits for 'Holy Water' long poles are erected along the points of the catwalk one pole a bit too close to where I'm standing ,at this point I'm having an out of body experience, shes right in front of me climbing up the pole twisting around swishing her hair as she goes, I'm completely off guard didn't know what to do first Photograph her or wave hello, so from that point on temporily it was a bit of a blur 1st time seeing the show you don't know where to look first so much is going on, she certainly entertained us all with her wit and charm, I remember her saying during 'Garage' themed section of 'Deeper & Deeper' , "Are You Tired London ? Are You Tired Wake The Fxxk up" you have to understand her sense of irony or you'd be offended by what she says, shes hilarious .
Part 2-Act 2
The next amazing highlight was 'Like A Virgin' Disco Diva In Suit section, when she walks off over to a circular fan just to left of me under my nose, she drops to her knees (She did the knee drop in front of me on Like A Prayer in Hyde Park 2012 and I could'nt breathe) she pulls open her shirt showing off a tight vest and rolls her head back like lioness swishing around talk about invading my space but oh no shes welcome ha !! the show is super energetic.
Part 3- Act 3
Later on in the show she plays a surprise song 'Drowned World' its hard to imagine she is the singer of all these songs I know and grew up , and with its overwhelming to hear them she introduces the song by telling us about a friend called 'David' who wrote the lyrics to it "A lot of people don't know this but he wrote this song he lived in London he died ,so as a tribute to him I'm going to sing it" the song has never been sung since the tour 'Drowned World' in 2001,Another nice Surprise was a 80's Medley of 'Lucky Star,Dress You Up, and later another surprise of 'Whos That Girl' no1 in uk in 1987 never played since tour 'Whos That Girl' in 1987 she is surpassing the last tour MDNA over and over with the setlist and the imagination of the themes its an assault on the senses she played for 2 a half hours and it seemed like her longest show I didn't want it to end.
I noticed she had a playful softer more human side in this tour she really cares about people and it was nice to see her , relaxed having fun.
Part 4- Act 4
She ended tonights show with 'Holiday' in Independance day Jacket Red Top Hat and union jack flag draped around her shoulders she dances around the place with all her dancer troupe in goofy party gear kinda like an office party very funny, she gets airlifted at the end with wires over the tilting screen with immortal words of 'Bye Bitches on the screens to end "Goodnight London You Have been Wonderful" in her sweet 'Marilyn' Like accent .
Part 5
Manchester Arena 12 days on and I'm again gobsmacked at my seat location this time front row of the front of left cross side, important as she faces this way much of the time she plays across it I'm giddy with excitement all I can say tonight Is "Oh My God!!" gosh this is going to be special Isn't it ??? It's 9.15pm she's not on yet, 9.30pm no sign of her oh shit its 10pm No sign of 'Michael Jackson's Wanna Be Starting Something" that heralds the 'Queen' in fact no life on stage at all lights are still on, oh no I can feel it in my bones something is wrong. The crowd are begininng to tire,all around me women are drunk atmosphere is crazy, security giving out orders.
10.15pm lights finally go down Oh Thank God, but the show is stated to be finished at 11.30pm that is not long , show finally on track shes again centre cross singing 'Burning Up' I'm dancing about and singing she smiles over at me I'm dressed up again but in a different theme I wont go on.. 'Holy Water' is ever more amazing as much the time she's facing me as shes dancing around the poles with with the nuns its like a dream.. (No End And No Begininng lol), and during 'Vogue' I get more eye contact with her that I shun cameras for this show I've got her attention and shes always had mine woah this is closest to meeting her I'll ever get.
She looks ethereal her wavy hair long to her waist, standing on the female dancer crouching on her twisting around in this scene across the internet on this tour as one of the most spectacular, we still have no idea about the delay so onto next song 'Devil Pray' with a 'Last Supper' segment on the show, she drinks from a gold goblet, she feeds her dancers grapes and lies on her back her wrists tied in red ropes,she tilts her head back and then walks toward the heartstage and disappears down the lift as lights go down on Act 1 of the show.
Security are already being a bit too strict over what fans can and cant do spoiling our fun even I'm told that I'm not to push on the barrier (I'm not, whos going to push me I'm in seated areas, stress) oh no I'm being told not to dance too far from my area in the aisles in case people push forward I don't think they even know what they are saying people are not happy).
Part 6
What I do know is that M' wont be happy if if her fans cant dance and be happy with her shes likes to connect with them. she reappears on stage for 'Body Shop' sitting down looking a bit uneasy not relaxed she yells "Manchester are you Bitches in my gang !! Anyone who is not happy I am late can just not come to my show Ok!!, We had no video, we rebooted the disc but it was corrupted so we could not start the show without it, it was fortunate that the company was here in 'Manchester', she goes on "It was No Diva Bitch Moment OK!! I was not backstage filing my nails,eating chocolate and getting my hair extensions done (some fans boo her from top teir).. 'You Diva Bitches can Shut The Fxxk up' (Crowd Cheers her and applauds)
She takes a sip of water and then notices a Huge gap in Block B ahead of her she says "Manchester what's with all this space?? I didn't ask for a parking lot at my show, you need to speak to your local Mayor of Manchester about this !!" she sang 'True Blue' playing the Ukelele I start swaying along with my row enjoying the atmosphere.
She then plays a few songs by the staircase at the heart stage she climbs up it and sings 'HeartBreak City' and 'Love Don't Live Here Anymore' at which point the crowd at the heartstage appear to know something I don't back here at the cross shes apparently injured herself she banged her head, she carries on with the show regardless but as she sees her fans getting pushed around she asks one fan to come closer he's in a nuns habit security push him back over to his seat she sees red commenting about 'You guys in the Yellow Jackets you are here so they can have a good time, stop pushing around" shes not happy at all.
As 'Living For Love' comes on she begins by walking down the runway with the Long Black Velvet cape and removes it when atop the main stage podium no problem and the crowd cheer again , onto 'La isla Bonita' all the while I've still no idea shes hurt, as she sings 'Rebel Heart' at the heart stage we also get a speech about what its like to be a Rebel Heart "Rebel Heart's don't bow down to fear, Rebel Hearts bow down To Love Are you a Rebel Heart raise your hand" all the while she apparently looked pained and we got an acoustic of 'Open Your Heart' as she cut the Gypsy section and people noticed already whoops.
Part 7
Onto the 20's themed Charlie Chaplin Great Gatsby section and she plays 'Music and onto 'Candy Shop' shes in front of me again her hair tied back she looks fine not troubled,one fan lunges and she frowns but presses on with 'Material Girl' on the platforms and then the Bouquet bit she walks down in a veil and throws the flowers into the crowd to her right then the strangest thing she goes down the lift and the lights come on 'Thank you Manchester Goodnight ".
Even I'm shocked at how many songs she cut but we were really lucky to get any show awful bad luck and fans are kicking off shouting is that it wheres the medley, wheres this wheres that I want my money back ,and some going on about how am I going to get home now its 11.45pm , not being funny but people should make arrangements she's known for running over her schedule but time was against her tonight bad luck running well over UK Curfews I hope it doesn't put her off coming to 'Manchester' again though I've never seen people turn on their idol like that you should accept things for what they are better that she put a show on than cancel it.
Part 8
Next Day papers scream out ''Madonna calls Manchester fans Diva Bitches after late start to show" as usual not all the facts stated, The next Day M' issues a statement saying 'It helps to have the facts first , 75% percent of the show relies on the video, do you want us to play in the dark, the venue was kind enough to let us us play on another 40 Mins, we Did what we could we had to make some cuts to the setlist, but it was 3 songs you only missed 12 minutes".
Part 9
Show 3 Birmingham I had a slight change of seating I've now been upgraded to Block B but I'm a few seats away from the runway on the left, I'm now behind the cross but on front on it watching a back view not good she doesn't often look over but hey that's the way it is, her energy tonight is more positive the crowds energy also great tonight, she speaks "Birmingham are you guys gonna be offended if I call you 'Bitches' (No!! we all yell) Ok then" she sings a made up song "Are you Bitches In My Gang Are you Bitches In My Gang " crowd go mad its an electrifying atmosphere different to that of 'Manchester' puts my city to shame now.
The only thing spoiling my experience is 3 people with I -phones filming instead of watching and dancing to the show, she didn't play 'Who's that Girl' tonight but in the 20's theme again she plays 'La Vie En Rose' where she exclaims "I Don't Smoke but I Like To Start Fires" she does the whole 'Marilyn thing with a line from 'Diamonds Are A Girls' best friend, then we get our 'Unapologetic Bitch' and tonight its 'Rocco's Best Friend Jamie he knows what moves to do so I knew she knew him, in London it was 'Stella MCartney'.
Part 10
Final Show 'Glasgow' and its a small capacity arena I'm at side of the end of the heartstage (I Think I've Covered every angle on this tour lol), Mary Mac stopped her set as not enough people were in yet which looks set to delay us again, 9.30pm I'm holding my breath again as Nomads Devotion blasts out and then finally MJ intro on lights go down, 3 fans in front of me stand on their seats I see red "Get Down" they turn around "But I cant see " I retort "Neither can I now you can't do that, get down I paid a lot see this".
During Heartbreak City I can see her close again and I shout out so she can see me she cant too many people alongside me but nevermind, she doesnt stay down the heartstage too long each set until the end so in way unless she notices you its mainly happening on the mainstage and cross section, she sings 'Who That Girl' and we even get a special treat 'Ghost Town' its just been nominated by 'Rolling Stone' it was the only time she played it on the tour for the UK.
'Glasgow' had its own 'Unapologetic Bitch' in the shape of a guy called 'Jimmy' from Edinburgh in a kilt he flashed is bum and M' made a joke, he put the banana she gave him up his kilt it was funny,she she said "I happen to know that God has blessed Jimmy in that department too ", and then the 'Bye Bitches' sign came up the lights back on and I said to the person next to me that's it, its been delayed they cut the last song.
Then the most bizarre thing happened M's Dancers were back on stage light still switched on and she was on stage they did the whole 'Holiday' routine with no power /sound WE all sung it for her and the she blew kisses and waved doning a fluffy Santa hat , What an awesome gesture the venue wouldn't let her finish 1 song so she didn't want to disappoint us she does care about us getting a full show.
What an Amazing Show What an Amazing Woman and What a superb time I've had all the friends I've met I'll be sorry it's all over now , but that was the Best Madonna Experience Ever !!!
BYE Bitches Merry Xmas & Happy New Year HAHAHA
LMI xoxo
